When times are slow in the antiques, divvies have to make ends in unusual ways. Such is Lovejoy's fate driving for Gazza Gaunt's disreputable assignation service. But when one of his customres, the beautiful Fiona, discovers his eye for the genuine article, he finds himself the toast of a rich set whose vices and interest in danger extend way beyond a casual tryst in the back of Lovejoy's van. Advising the rich on valuables is never easy, but when he discovers that this set's previous advisors have ended up in hospital or worse, Lovejoy decides to flee with horse mad Almira to France. Little does he realise that Almira is part of the plot, and that France is the centre of the biggest antiques scam in history.

Lovejoy is given a job by a ghost. The Other Side had instructed him to help blonde, pretty, Donna Vernon find her missing dealer husband (antiques don't die, but dealers do). A natural cynic and truth seeker, Lovejoy also knows a job is a job and East Anglia's scruffiest antique dealer needs to earn a crust. But by the time he catches up with Vernon, it's too late for pearls of wisdom......

Lovejoy always aimed to succeed in the antiques business, or die trying - and this time he almost did! Lovejoy was going through some hard times. Not only were the writ servers, several amorous ladies and the local hoodlums all after him - but some witches and a murderer had set up business in the woods. And suddenly Lovejoy had more offers of employment than any impoverished, luck-pushing antiques dealer had any right to expect - or survive.